The end is near

In the wake of the tsunami waves, hurricanes this summer, earthquakes, and mudslides, I have been thinking about something serious. The book of revelation predicts all of these things, and worse to come. It says, Jesus will come back and take his people like a thief in the night, and after that will be seven years of war, famine, and really fucked up shit. As for the Jews, Muslims, Buddhist, Catholics, and other religions well um... ... ... The thing that is even worse is this is a day Christians all over the world, are looking forward to! That is kind of sick, because their day of triumph is the beginning of a horrible event.

So in preparation for this event I would like to start making preparations for this event by establishing these rules.

Rule#1 When late for work all Christians must call in prior to their start time.

This is so that we are certain that we did not miss the rapture.

Rule #2 There should be no more than one Christian pilots flying airplanes.

This is to prevent innocent people from diving to their death and going straight to hell. This true because all the Christians will be gone.

Rule #3 All people in employed in public transportation will be of the Non-Christian faith.

For similar reasons of rule #2

Rule #4 Because the end is near, all savings and property of Christians will be handed over to Non-Christians in equal proportions.

This is to ease the transition of a lack of ownership on post-rapture property lost by Christians that went to heaven, otherwise it will be mayhem.

Rule #5 Edelman is a cheating bastard.

Yeah I am still bitter.

After the rapture:

1. Gays can now marry.

2. Abortion is legal.

3. Pot is legal.

4. Edelman is still a cheating bastard.